Recently I took care of a two-month-old premature baby. Everything about her was small. I had never cared for a baby of such size and fragility.
Her body, her silky skin, her delicateness, everything moved me and made me stop, contemplate and feel her. The world ceased to exist and we were enveloped by a feeling that was so still.
I had recently divorced and was going through a complicated and sad time.
Connecting with her, my protections and hardness were falling away. She was like a balm that healed my wounds and brought me back to my own delicacy and innocence.
Her infinite purity made me feel pure too, as if life had not affected me and all traces of sadness and burdens were swept away.
I could feel how very still she was, so I moved in the same way not to disturb this. She smelt of love and with that tears rolled down my cheeks, softening my heart. It was one of the most healing and nourishing experiences I have ever had.
A gift from God that made me vulnerable and receptive.
I started out believing that I was going to care for her and it was through her that care came to us both.
I rested her on my chest, totally receptive and the two of us in unity, pulsing with God’s heartbeat.