A move from London to the countryside meant that I needed to find work locally. The quickest job that I could find was with a local care company. After a few days training I was asked what kind of care work I would consider. I was told that some carers would rather not do personal care, but that it was up to me what I felt ok with. I was open to all types of care work and accepted that I would do whatever was needed.
I was matched up with a local client – a gentleman in his 80’s. It was a pleasure to meet him. I was introduced to him and felt an instant connection with him. We started to work together, and I loved how very simple and surrendered this elderly gentleman was. There was no drive or rush. Together we shared our life stories and my client loved to hear about my son and I about his life. He was a very gentle man and he lived with great integrity.
Because I could feel the sensitivity of this elderly gentleman I naturally worked in a very gentle and honouring way. I let go of any time pressures in these moments. I would walk behind my client with such love for him, ensuring he reached where he was going safely. I felt very surrendered within myself, and this allowed him to safely and without rush walk in his own rhythm and pace.
I never found the personal care work such as washing someone and dressing someone in any way degrading or something that was beneath me, in fact it became the personal care work that I loved the most. I was super gentle and respectful, and I would work in a way that held my client in absolute respect and love and this felt particularly supportive with the personal care work because clients are in a vulnerable position, relying on the carer to keep them warm and safe, keep them clean and cared for.
The carer is doing the work that the client can no longer do for themselves, and this can be challenging for some clients who would rather be looking after themselves but are no longer able to. I found that in these moments it was so important to be as careful, gentle and respectful as possible.
It felt amazing for myself and the client to have this level of trust knowing that I would not harm them but would support and care for them. It was a very close and trusting relationship. Being washed and having a carer so close to you could be intimidating and embarrassing for clients. I allowed the client to feel that they were respected. I also empowered clients to express how they were feeling in each moment and to know that the most important thing was that they felt safe and had their needs met, however long this took and whatever was needed.
It felt like a privilege to be able to be so supportive and work with such integrity with someone at their most vulnerable. I have very high standards and my clients love this.
This includes working with care and integrity, not rushing, and allowing the space for the client to move in their time and to make sure they felt comfortable, warm and listened to.
It allowed them to surrender, trust and feel held and supported in situations that could have felt uncomfortable.
Also, very important is ensuring that I take care of myself so that when the visit came, I felt well and ready to support the client without any personal issues getting in the way. For instance, it would not have been supportive for me if I was running late and rushed through the door or if I was tired because I was up late. I would always allow space and be early or on time. I made sure that I was present and ready to support.
I value what I bring as a carer. The visits are not about me and what I need, for example to be paid and getting the visit done as quickly as possible. The visit is always about the client. It is about connecting with them so they feel supported and can tell me what they need so I can support them as best I can. For me it is my responsibility to look after myself in a way that means I feel well so that I am ready to support. Its important to not be stuck in any of my own issues and to have a level of wellness so I can work in a way where I can be myself, which means bringing a lightness, joy and knowing of what is needed for the client.