No One Told Me How To Do That

These words, spoken by a woman in her late thirties, could be spoken by any of us. She was in overwhelm after a recent bereavement (her mum) and now finds herself caring for her dad in her own home. She is also a wife, mother of a young son and works full-time as a medical doctor. No one had told her how to be in the caring role and not be burdened by the responsibility.

Her words could be spoken by millions of men and women around the world.

So what is going on here?

We are sold every type of education from kindergarten to university, and yet no-one teaches us how to be masters of life.

Why be educated to the hilt, if it’s at the expense of your own body and well-being?

Why are we not taught to value, love, adore and care for ourselves? Why is all emphasis placed on valuing outer achievements, seeking recognition and reward from others?

Family, school, work, religion, each one grooms us to be the perfect son/daughter, pupil, employee, congregant, carer – good, kind, helpful, keeper of the peace, put others first, even consider yourself lesser. In this narrative we are rewarded for being good, playing the part, but at what cost?

If you feel pummelled, emotionally drained, overwhelmed, exhausted and find life effortful, then you have been educated at the school of self-neglect.  You were not taught how to self-care.  True self-care does not emerge from nowhere, it is a lovingly applied daily practice. Count the number of hours spent pouring over text books to pass an exam and get that qualification and sit this next to the number of hours spent dedicated to taking deep nurturing care of you? The gap is obvious.

To be a master of life and not solely a master of letters, demands a truly different curriculum.

Let’s go back to school

101 of Self-Care

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