In my work as a carer one of my clients was a gentleman who lived in my village, I would see him once a week. He was elderly gentleman in his 90’s. This elderly man had been a great lawyer in his younger years and was still very bright and sparky.

He was very wealthy and lived in a big house. What felt gorgeous was that I did not have any judgements around his wealth. I could feel that however wealthy and successful we are in life that we all need support if we get ill or at the end of our life. I felt very equal to him and did not hold him higher or myself as lesser but respected him and myself and so he treated me with respect, and we built a very lovely friendship. For him to allow this support was huge as he could have stayed very proud and been resistant to allowing such intimacy.

I felt a joy visiting him and I can feel how my lightness and playfulness allowed him to trust me and relax and let go. Clients such as this become like family, we see them at their most vulnerable and they rely on us to do everyday tasks that they no longer do alone. I feel very blessed to be able to support someone when they needed it the most and to be so trusted that they allowed me to get close, this client enjoyed sharing with me the truth of how he was feeling.

We had lots of fun together. I can feel that at the end of life there is an honesty from what I have observed. This great lawyer was actually a very gentle and sweet man and I got to see this. He had let go of holding onto his position and was very grateful to be looked after and cared for.

Even though his hearing aids had failed we made this situation fun as I would learn to lip read and we found a way of me understanding him and him me, even if no words were spoken. This could be with lip reading, hand movements and facial expressions. Sometimes we would not understand each other, but it would make us laugh and we would carry on, there was no space for embarrassment or awkwardness. It was amazing to feel this very beautiful, simple connection between us.

One of my jobs was shaving him, I had not done this before. It was a very intimate job, and I did this very carefully, we would talk and laugh together as I shaved him, he loved the way I worked – gently and carefully. I worked in a way that he could relax, he trusted me and knew that I wanted to work in a way that supported him – that I would never cause harm or be rough with him.

I was certainly not just there to earn money; I deeply care for my clients. Caring for me is a very beautiful experience, I get to meet people towards the end of their lives. I loved how surrendered this elderly gentleman was there was such a stillness and an acceptance that life was coming towards an end. There was not a fight with this.

With my clients I felt how they were close to God, they seemed content in themselves and reflected this beautiful letting go. They would share their pearls of wisdom with me, and I am very humbled to be working so closely and so intimately with them.

During this time, I came to know how very caring I am and how gentle and sensitive I am to what people need, reading what is going on for each person and supporting with what was needed. This helped me to move onto my next role working in a school with children. The centeredness that I had felt during my care visits continued even with everything that was going on in the classroom. The care work built a foundation in me of steadiness and a deep care and love for people.

2 thoughts on “Close to God”

  1. An exquisite article, in its simplicity, delicacy and joy. This is true care at work: love the work you do and express in love. A beautiful representation of the quality withn all of us, if we allow it to be.

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